Mortimer loves tacos. While other dragons prefer to fly around and roast humans with their breath she just loves to sit by the high security closet sipping Mountain Dew and eating tacos. She is quite a weird dragon to be honest. She has two ant farms, a pet rat named Janice, and she loves to read fantasy novels and review them on the internet. None of the books ever got a rating above 2 stars from her because of their ‘stereotypical portrayal’ of dragons. Her words. When she isn’t guarding the closet, reading her books or eating tacos, she loves to watch Sally knit. Ever since Sally joined our little circle, Mortimer has been bugging her to knit her this and that. I think, right at this moment, she is trying to convince Sally how much she’d love to wear red-white-green gloves with the bright blue scarf Sally made her a while ago.

You’re probably wondering why Mortimer is a she. Mortimer is in transition and hasn’t picked a new name for herself yet. She has a list though, and right now I think Bianca is her favorite. I don’t envy her. I am not particularly happy with my own name but I wouldn’t be able to pick a name for myself. Anyway, Mortimer is the coolest dragon in the world and I am proud and happy and grateful, that I can call her my friend. And you really don’t want to mess with her by trying to break into the closet. She’s a fucking dragon after all.