Geschriebenes

Dress for Stress

“Superheroes love to save the world but even they need help from time to time. Let’s be honest, most of these guys know how to build robots, climb buildings, and defeat the villain but all of them have a terrible fashion sense and know absolutely nothing about how to repair their capes. That’s where I come in. My name is Felicia Glory and I am the owner of Dress For Stress, your sewing and repair service of all things superhero clothing. Mr Roboto tore your cape? Magnetismo ruined your spandex pants? Just call me and you’ll be back up and fighting evil in style in no time.

At least, that’s what my ad in the paper says. Sometimes it may take a few days. But don’t worry, for only small fee I can store your spare clothes in my 24-hour closet available to you around the clock. The closet is heavily protected against all sorts of destructive weapons you can think of. When I started my business I hadn’t thought of that but you learn from mistakes. And when Booby Bett and Eye’s Pop got into their huge fight during which they accidentally blew up my grandmother’s old wooden closet, I spared no cost and effort to install this high security one. In addition to various technical gimmicks that allow access only to the true owner of their clothes, Mortimer is guarding it.

Good old Mortimer. I suppose, a dragon watching your clothes and gear is not a service offered by many.

But that’s not why you’re here. See, I just broke up with my boyfriend. I’m in my thirties with a what you call plus-plus-plus-size hourglass figure and hair that is starting to grey. I suppose it would grey even more wouldn’t I dye it a bright colour every other week. I have two cats and a dragon, live in the backroom of my store and I discovered that I like being single. My father doesn’t understand it. After all I’m not someone a proper man would marry to have his children. His words. But what does he know. For the first time I am running my business myself, my life myself and everything else myself, too. Come to think of it, it’s never been any different because even in my past relationships I had to run everything myself. Maybe that’s why those relationships never lasted. Maybe that’s why those guys always left me for some other woman or, as in one case, man. But quite frankly, I don’t care. I think I’m pretty awesome. I mean, I do have my own business, which is quite successful, and I own a dragon. Who else can say that?

Sure, most of my friends are getting married, starting a family and building houses but that’s not me. So why is it so hard to understand that I am actually quite happy with my life right now? Because women have to be married by a certain age? Because women are nothing without a man taking care of them? -Yeah, screw that, I say. I live my life for myself. Not for the rest of this world. And I’m not going to change just to please other people. If I’m going to change then I’ll do it for myself because I feel the need to change.”

I slammed my hand on the table and stared at the flustered, green-purple specked face of Alien Joe, who took a step backwards.

“I-I suppose you’re right,” he stammered while his eyes darted left and right. “But I really need a job and I saw you were hiring.“

I took a deep breath. „Ah, yes,” I coughed, “I’m sorry, I got a little carried away there. Can you start right away?“

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